Day 61 – i don’t know why

Saturday, October 31, 2009
Day 61
6:27 pm – 7:19 pm

i don’t know why

sometimes, i don’t know why
things don’t feel right
nothing
i mean no one
and no thing
not any element
or aspect
or issue of history
or the present
not today
not yesterday
and definitely
not the unknown
of tomorrow

not one win or loss
no light wind no breeze
no drop of rain
no haze
no clouds
no light no dawn no dusk
not even the glory of sunset
or sunrise
some days there
is no glory
no
like i said
no thing and
nothing

and
of course
absolutely as a
matter of fact
literally and
figuratively
in every part of
definitive matter
it is
never anything else
other than
-as it is always is-
me

years ago
i used to write
of the demons
coming
to investigate
a space,
whether
to be permanent
or temporary,
to stay with
within
and right alongside
me

i guess i felt
they were
things
outside my self
trying to control, ridicule,
bother and disrespect me
i could not get them
out of my head
and i thought
i might not
ever be successful
in removing
from
the life of me

so now
i see
the
actual
picture of what
this is
but not how
this is happening

it is from some where
inside a place that’s deep
and it is sure to pass in time
as sure as sometimes it comes
at times
i don’t know why
it just does

traci kato-kiriyama

(for t and m)

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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