Day 72 – faint

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Day 72
7:38 pm – 8:23 pm

faint

we have come a long way, haven’t we?
yet, the listening ear is another nose
and it is hard to hear the songs loftily
swinging about the vicinity that
amplified our hasty realm of
not so long ago

minor keys from a maestro played
over and over at my fingers request
refusing to quiet themselves even
when i turned off my car stereo
i wrote some hideously stark volume
of you in those days, didn’t i?

but we are far, so far,
from those days when nothing
seemed to lift you away from wishing,
do you remember all the wishing,
for relief in the form of answers
from a dead man

major notes now seem to befall in
your morning skies, however, and i
believe we are in view of a season
changing over as it is only slight
fear i house that wonders what
still belies your busy mind

so, do you fall now
to save yourself from grief?
maybe a memory triggers
collected residue and begs
your mind to shut down
before you

can actually call upon
what is screaming at you
and pulling you apart
like all those times you
bawled at him for more
or for less

what were you thinking on that day
some months after dad died?
i almost hate to ask anything so
direct because we are barely at
a new direction with
How are you?

but i do wonder, when you fell against
the mourning shower and slipped
to wake in the water many months ago
or when you rushed again and fell back
into numbness just the other day,
where was your head?

i suspect your grief is fading with your
memory and that is both a fine and
terrible thing only for the pain that
slips away and the feeling that we
are not dealing with the real issue
but is that so terrible?

whatever it is, i would not mind at all
if all of it just continues to fade
your grief, the knowledge that some things
will never be answered, your body’s odd
penchant for slipping out of consciousness,
and, perhaps, even your memory

traci kato-kiriyama

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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