Day 254 – hypothesis; letter

Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Day 254
4:29 pm

hypothesis; letter

after retiring from a
lifetime career as
an English teacher
my mom decided to
write a new dictionary
that makes sense

it was to have the correct
pronunciation for
commonly used terms
like “karaoke”
“nappa” and “happa”,
good information,
useful terminology

when i asked her
why the dictionary
doesn’t include the
word
“forgiveness”
she told me to go
and look up my dad

so i did

flipped to the page
with his name
and there he was

next to his picture, a
rather large entry
full of tales of despair,
mystery, betrayal, and
quite a story to swallow,
if a daughter could
say so herself

other pages were flagged
throughout as she is
readying a new edition

more cuts including
words like
“choice”
“doubt”
“joy”
and
“love”
are to take place

what a terribly
interesting
volume this is

the only way to survive
as your daughter
is to remind myself
of your pain

of your many years
of seething
on the back burner

of all the reasons
dad made you
feel
unsafe
without your
coat of bitterness, it is
a thick, suffocating
plastic that will never
pill or disintegrate

so must i ask of
what i will turn in to
because of you
or despite you

as i try to reach
that young lady
inside of you who once
had hope and happiness

are the layers so
opaque we may
never see the light
of

forgiveness?

does your mind
ever utter a word
such as this?

tkk

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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