Day 279 – wrecked; 4am; alarm

Sunday, June 6, 2010
Day 279
10:37 am



There is no way to float

Blown to pieces
Planks and bits strewn everywhere

Mast crumbled
Sails ripped
Wood splintered, split,
Expelled to the ocean
Nails shot out from the lee

You had to go
So you took the wind
With you

There is no reason to sail

There is no water

(in memory of John Delloro)

(Sunday, June 6, 2010
10:58 am)


I’m asking myself
What it feels like to lay here
In bed this morning

I don’t really know

When I went to bed last night
I hated 4:00 am
Because it meant 24 hours since
And it was officially
An entire day of you being gone
From this world

4:00 am was cheating us
Pushing us too fast into
Time passed
Time loves to rush us
Has the courtesy to
Slow down
Or stop altogether
Especially in
Moment we utterly
Absolutely need it to

It could have
I believe it could have
Just before you did

It should have paused
So we could adjust
Your heart
Keep it beating
Into the next minute
Trick time by keeping you
In sync with the pace of
World that needs you

And I know what you’d say
is what I will say eventually
You are still here
And you will continue to be here
And I will feel vigilant in about 2


Maybe more

I’m guessing
I don’t really know

Because right now
I hate 11:06 am

And I’m pretty sure
I’m going to hate

(in memory of John Delloro)

(Sunday, June 6, 2010
7:00 pm)


I got an odd text message
yesterday from Vanessa

She asked if I heard about you
and whether it was true

I knew it wasn’t good
but I figured you’d been
rushed to the hospital
and people were talking
over Facebook about a
second heart attack you
must have just suffered

It wasn’t until I was in
the middle of leaving a
voice message to you
that something sounded
hollow or flat or dead

Like I was speaking into
a sound-proofed tunnel
with no echo
because it was closed off
at the other end

It was at that moment
I think I knew
You wouldn’t
be calling me

(in memory of John Delloro)


About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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