Day 293 – on Father’s Day, 1-10

Sunday, June 20, 2010
Day 293
7:47 am

on Father’s Day, 1-10


1.

days like today
are made for the
lucky and the living


2.

I wake up early and
pluck my eyebrows
because there’s
nothing else to do


3.

If your pop’s alive
and you are lucky enough
to have conversation as a
thing that is actually good
between you
then kudos and cheers
and I hope you have a
great time

That might sound bitter
and disingenuous
but I do mean it for you

I’m just genuinely bitter
at the moment on
behalf of myself
and those who don’t
feel lucky or alive


4.

sometimes it feels like
Your Day of Death and
every other holiday
belongs mostly
to mom’s grief

I try to give
those to her
wholeheartedly

that is what Father’s Day
is good for

it’s when the widow
makes way for the
grieving child


5.

There is a club

Adult Children Who’ve
Lost Their Dads

There are no meetings
or minutes
just a list that grows
with time
in the back of your head

Gayle
Mari
Tony
Miles
Jenn
Mary Rose
Jane
Josephine
Patrisse
Sefa
Glenn
Lee

no membership
just dues

(now we must start
a
new club

Support for Little Kids
Who’ve Lost Young Dads
Who Are Our Friends)


6.

time

.

.

time

.

.

time

.

.

bulldozer

.

.

steamroller

.

.

memory catcher

.

.

dark comedian

.

.

sinister magician

.

.

heartbreaker

.

.

time

.

.

laughs in the face of daughters

.

.

on fathers days

.

.


7.

Dakko, Daddy!

you said
i loved saying
that
to you
as a child

you couldn’t walk
more than a few
minutes before
hearing me say it
and no matter how
tired you were
you’d look down to
see my arms up in
the air pointing at
you

people would say i
should try to walk
but i was insistent
and you were a softie
everytime i said
Dakko
you huffed and puffed
and smiled big and
carried me

somewhere along the
way I stopped being
small enough for
Dakko
and I began to enjoy
walking on my own

maybe there was no way to
show you
the feeling of my
outstretched arms
was still there inside

somewhere along the
way I believe you
assumed
Dakko
and
Daddy’s girl
were completely gone

so you reminded me
and everyone with those
stories
for the rest
of your life


8.

Hey Dad,

Look out for my friend John
Wherever you are or however
It works in
Energyland

He’s surely already hanging
With a big community
Now you can introduce him
To yours

But he’s still new to
Death
Take him out for some
Yummy, greasy food

You’ll both really
Enjoy eating tacos
and talking
About your daughters


9.

Just before
yesterday’s memorial
I looked at
John’s son who was
staring at my tears

When his mama
was at the podium
addressing everyone
he’d run around and
stop at the stage
periodically, chuckling,
as he asked his ma,
“Are you crying?”
and she’d say,
“No, I’m not crying”
then she’d continue
speaking and sobbing
and shaking as she
made it through
her words

She and the kids
left soon after
she was done

What on earth
are they doing on
a day like today?

And John’s mother and
father? What for them
today is to be done but to
want the clock to turn
in triple time?

It’s just a
day
It’s just
another day

For the gaze of that little boy
upon my stricken face

For them
let today fade
away quickly


10.

gratitude is a guiding light
i search for it
waving my hands through
this smoggy mourning

tkk
(in memory of J.D.)
(in memory of my Dad)

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

2 responses to “Day 293 – on Father’s Day, 1-10

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