Day 350 – Day of Death, August 16th; it dawns on me

Monday, August 16, 2010
Day 350
2:49 pm

Day Of Death, August 16th

Each year continues
to build anew
and yet feel completely
the same
when we hit the
anniversary for
your Day of
Death

In some ways
and every way
You are today
what you were
six years ago or
nineteen years ago,
When you were 74
or 42

Flawed

Happy

Convincing

Always cracking jokes,
You ate whatever you wanted,
You sang a lot of Elvis songs,
You played a lot of poker,
You insisted on a clean,
well-serviced car

You loved your daughter

I
don’t know what
to feel
yet I feel everything
all at once

And it feels good
And crappy
And fine

And I think of others who have
Died in the past 5 years

(And I think today I’ll use the word
Died
instead of
Passed)

And it feels fine
And crappy
And good

And I want to cry
And laugh
And celebrate you
Today

All of you
Your flaws
Your laugh
Your unspeakable
Your unfathomable
Your words
Your silence, yes, for today,
even your silence

To do so by sitting
in silence is the only thing,
is everything,
that makes sense

tkk

it dawns on me

at 2:45 pm
i make note
of 2:45 pm

and wonder if
it’s a good
idea to think

of the time
it was when
you left us

or if maybe
it is better
to recall the

months or years
before or since
or anything else

but the moment
of you lying
there eyes closed

gaunt wrinkled face
cold bony hands
skinny little legs

tkk

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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