Day 118 – to look for love/out in the battlefields

Monday, December 27, 2010
Day 118
6:50 pm, 10:06 pm

to look for love/out in the battlefields

If ever there was love

This would be the place
to find it

Where there may be
no lock, no metal, perhaps
not even a permanent combination

Not in greeting cards, not in
gift exchanges, not even in our
careful letters or compassionate poems

Not in the ocean’s fold, not at
dawn or dusk, not even in another’s
enchanted eyes

It is there.

In those places we are told
it can not exist.

In the places we decide
to run the farthest and fastest
from

Where there are caves, where the
nonreligious decide to pray, where we would
otherwise let ourselves fall by the wayside
or vanish altogether

It is that far down.

That deep.

That cryptic, but that close, we’re
talking inches.

Where we compensate, where we know it
well enough to hide for years, dig moats
and create diversions, where we invest
every thing in to distractions

Where else, but there, where our
better moments show us what we
loathe in all else and hold against
the world to better behold
what we hate of our selves

How close can we get to that place
without complete insanity or suicide
becoming the only foreseeable answer?

No one knows.

But I do believe it is there.

There
where we must gear up,
where we must wave flags,
where we must paddle
our little boats to meet
halfway,
somewhere towards the middle,
the heart
of it all, not just
the evident or
the plain and simple
Fear

But the worst of it

Where we might grasp it
long enough to analyze it,
thoroughly enough to understand it,
with wisdom enough to wrap our arms
around it

To do the unthinkable.

To hold it, to refrain from fire,
bombs, murder, burial.

But to wholeheartedly discover it.

And find it.

There.

tkk
(for j. for us all.)

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About traciakemi

traci akemi kato-kiriyama - inter/multi-disciplinary theatre/performance artist, arts educator, cultural worker, community organizer. Tuesday Night Project; theatre, performance, writing, and teaching projects with many organizations and artists including: zero 3; Edge of The World for Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia and the National Asian American Theatre Festival in New York; "PULL" with Kennedy Kabasares in San Francisco; Nobuko Miyamoto and Great Leap Collaboratory I; TeAda; NCRR; Oymun's 11. Playwright for "Chasing Dad - a performance of a reading about a play i'm writing" presented by Inside the Ford for the Ford's Summer Playwright series. View all posts by traciakemi

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